California Woman Invents “Gun-Shaped Wallet” to add Levity to Traffic Stops

"Ash78, voting early and often" (ash78) 05/02/2019 at 15:30 • Filed to: Taketheoutsideline, Satire

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Laguna Niguel, California, entrepreneur Stacy Watkins never imagined she’d be at the center of nationwide attention.

Stacy Watkins’s ingenious gun wallet turns stoic documentation checks into conversation starters.

In 2016 when she was pulled over for speeding and reckless driving in her own neighborhood, she never imagined the lingering pain her encounter would create. She had just gone through a difficult divorce and was struggling with how to fill her half-empty house with new furniture

“The officer just gave these stern orders,” she recounts. “He didn’t even respond to ‘Good morning’ or ‘How is your day?’” It was a cold encounter that I never want to go through again.

Although she was driving 47mph in a 25mph zone, Stacy was let off with a warning – and an idea.

“After weeks of sleepless nights and cold sweats, I decided to take matters into my own hands.”

Within three weeks, Ms. Watkins came up with the idea of a wallet in the shape of a gun. She believed this would be the perfect icebreaker for awkward traffic stops like the one she experienced.

Within a week of carrying the wallet, Stacy rolled through stop sign, only to see flashing blue lights behind her. But instead of sitting, afraid, in her car, she took control.

Ms. Watkins poses in front of her Infiniti QXYZ8056

“I stopped the car, jumped out, and started walking towards the officer with my new wallet in my outstretched arm. At first, he was confused, but he quickly smiled and thanked me for the courtesy of bringing my documents to him.”

Not only did the officer waive the charges, but he also took her information to share with friends and family.

And with that, a craft movement was born.

Selling solely through Etsy and Facebook, Ms. Watkins could barely keep up with demand after just a few weeks.

“People were emailing me, telling me how much fun these wallets were. They said they never knew how such an obvious niche had gone unfulfilled for so long.”

Although many critics consider it common knowledge that all vehicular documents should be ready to present to an officer during a traffic stop, ignorance of this procedure has led to some dangerous consequences.

“Before this gun wallet,” says Aliso Viejo resident Kelli Dufresne, “I would have reached shakily behind the seat and fumbled through a purse for my papers. The officer might have seen a tampon or a candy wrapper in there. I would have literally died of embarrassment. Died. With this gun wallet, the conversation is fun again.”

Chariotoflove > Ash78, voting early and often 05/02/2019 at 15:46

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People would actually buy this in droves. Put it on a Kinja Deals pop- up and watch.

Ash78, voting early and often > Chariotoflove 05/02/2019 at 15:47

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Sadly, yes. If this were posted to a front page somewhere, 30% of readers would think it’s an actual advertorial.

CalzoneGolem > Ash78, voting early and often 05/02/2019 at 15:50

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It c oordinates with my phone case.

Snuze: Needs another Swede > Chariotoflove 05/02/2019 at 15:53

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I mean, I would buy one.

Ash78, voting early and often > CalzoneGolem 05/02/2019 at 15:53

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I like your (G)lock screen!

Snuze: Needs another Swede > Ash78, voting early and often 05/02/2019 at 15:53

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Do I have any other color choices and w ho do I P ayP al the money to?

NKato > Ash78, voting early and often 05/02/2019 at 15:56

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getting out of your car at a traffic stop without being instructed to is a great way to get a cop keyed up. Not a good idea.

CalzoneGolem > Ash78, voting early and often 05/02/2019 at 15:57

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It takes a long time to load.

The Ghost of Oppo > Ash78, voting early and often 05/02/2019 at 16:01

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You should actually send this to the Onion or Clickhole. 

fintail > Ash78, voting early and often 05/02/2019 at 16:03

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This is real, right? It looks and sounds like exactly who I’d expect to get of f with a warning for 47 in a 25 in a bloated behemoth (likely) bought by someone else.  This could just have easily happened in my neighborhood.

Ash78, voting early and often > CalzoneGolem 05/02/2019 at 16:04

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Have you considered a high-capacity SD card?

Oh, wait...iPhone. You’re stuck.

AestheticsInMotion > Ash78, voting early and often 05/02/2019 at 16:04

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This would be peak California W oman

Ash78, voting early and often > The Ghost of Oppo 05/02/2019 at 16:05

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I’m thinking about it...the Onion has always been big on “We don’t accept submissions from readers” (I subscribed to the print version 1998-2002) and they’re still pretty formal about their work, but it probably can’t hurt!

Spanfeller is a twat > Ash78, voting early and often 05/02/2019 at 16:07

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TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Ash78, voting early and often 05/02/2019 at 16:07

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Ugh, those iT ards and their “High capacity SD cards are evil ”, well they can pull my NORMAL capacity SD card out of my cold Android hands.

Ash78, voting early and often > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 05/02/2019 at 16:09

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Yeah, well, I’ve put over 20,000 instructions through my iPhone without a single Fail To Execute. Not many Droiders can claim that.

4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30 > Ash78, voting early and often 05/02/2019 at 16:18

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I forgot where I w as and was reading this in all seriousness, until I got to here:

and then I realised it was you.

Yowen - not necessarily not spaghetti and meatballs > Ash78, voting early and often 05/02/2019 at 16:26

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As I was reading this I had forgotten on which website I was, and I was like “am I on the onion”, I had to look at the top of my screen to confirm I was still on oppo, haha. So good job!

Yowen - not necessarily not spaghetti and meatballs > Ash78, voting early and often 05/02/2019 at 16:27

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oooh did you do that with some kind of auto clicker? ( Vaguely analogous to a bump stock)

CalzoneGolem > Ash78, voting early and often 05/03/2019 at 07:13

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I could give it a shot. 

Just Jeepin' > NKato 05/11/2019 at 16:02

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...you k now the whole article is satire, right?

cesariojpn > CalzoneGolem 05/11/2019 at 17:03

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What about your battery bank?

404 - User No Longer Available > Ash78, voting early and often 05/11/2019 at 19:31

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There’s always /r/NotTheOnion... but I bet it’s there already.

CalzoneGolem > cesariojpn 05/13/2019 at 07:00

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